Let's have a good old rant about Ryanair.

It's been looming. No, it's not the fact that the pilots can't land in storms. I forgive them that and take it as a challenge to learn how to control my fear of flying. It's more an attitude and trickster thing that gets me going.

The problem is that you can't expect customer service or even a smile from the cheapest of cheap airlines. Those would cost money, so take off the make-up and friendly faces and get on with it. I can do that - to a certain extent.

Moan number 1:
Tricksing money makers. First, they introduce a fee for checking luggage into the hold. That actually means that for each piece of luggage you now have to pay for the service of it being transported. What with hand luggage security and all that there is no choice but. What is more, it's per item, and per flight. So if you happen to have to book two legs to get to your destination, you pay twice.

Next ingenious idea Ryanair had was to reduce the baggage allowance (that's the allowance of the item you already have to pay for, mind) from 20kg to 15kg. Other airlines who have a limit of 20kg let you through with up to 25kg without a blink, you pay if you are seriously over the limit. Not so with Ryanair. One kg over, and you pay. More than it would cost to send a parcel of the same weight. If you happen to travel with a good old suitcase, there is no chance you will not have to pay those £6 per kg.

We all know Ryanair doesn't assign seats and that you have to storm the plane like your average train at rush hour. Fair enough, at least so far you will have a seat somewhere, so I don't mind and so far I never actually had to sit away from my travel companion. Priority boarding seemed fair enough for those needing some help. Not so now. Priority boarding now has to be booked and paid for, thus discriminating against the infirm and those actually needing to sit together. I'm furious about the prospect of having to pay extra so I can sit with my beloved once we travel with baby, because there is no way we could even chance sitting separate from one another. Or worse even to be sitting separate from you child! And what would be the point in denying a wheelchair user or infirm person to get on the plane first and not hold up people, instead letting them struggle along with everyone else, resulting maybe even in delays to the flight?

Moan number 2:
Lack of linguistic skills. It's English only on Ryanair flights, no matter where they are coming from or going to. I guess we should be lucky they are not speaking Irish Gaelic to us, but believe it or not, there are actually people in Europe who are not able to speak or understand English. Tough on them, Ryanair says, if you can't check in in English, get someone to interpret for you or bugger off. Mobile phones will be left on during the flight and generally the passenger will be made to feel stupid for not having been born in an English speaking country.

Moan number 3:
Ryanair has no problem diverting flights and informing people so late that the arrangements for pickup from those airports in the middle of nowhere cannot be amended. It so happened to friends of mine who were landed with a diversion, a 6 hour bus journey and the inconvenience of their kind relative picking them up having to undergo four two-hour trips at either end of the night to enable them to get home at all. No complaints possible, you've signed away your life and if a 4 hour flight suddenly takes 24 hours they care sweet nothing about your wellbeing.

Moan number 4:
The seats are narrow and there is no net for any essential in flight items (such as a book, a drink, a magazine...). So you either balance your whole bag underneath your seat or give in.

Moan number 5:
Constant prize draws. Try sleeping on a Ryanair flight. Or listening to your music. It's impossible. One prize draw hunts the next, constant noise pollution of the worst kind. I've also heard that the fabulous prize of a free flight means that you have to book on specific routes in very narrow time windows, midweek only, and still have to pay tax. Not quite what I would call a free flight.

Of course, these are only the moans from a passenger. Mother nature surely has more to say. For my part, I'm truly sick of Ryanair and will do my utmost to avoid them even if that means paying more and having more hassle getting to an airport. The two reasons that have so far made me choose Ryanair are simple: They are always cheaper in spite of it all, they offer direct flights for most of my purposes, and Prestwick airport is so bloody convenient to get to by public transport. If only First Scotrail got their act together and provided a rail link to both Glasgow and Edinburgh airports, a major step towards sidestepping Ryanair would be in sight.

The hassle of getting to the two major Scottish airports may be worth it though. Ryanair have overstepped a few lines recently and hopefully other punters will vote with their feet too.