Now here's a riddle.

Cubling and I are in Germany. It seems it's fallen to me to cook Christmas dinner but only found this out today. Why has the honour fallen to me? Possibly due to Cubling being too young to cook, her granddad not being able to cook and her dad, well, likewise, apart from delicious stir frys I should like to add. By the way, I'm not exactly the greatest cook either, remember those raw goose drumsticks three years ago??? How did we not get ill? And what chances does Cubling have given those genes... . Anyway, where was I... Christmas dinner, which, in Germany, is in fact Christmas Eve dinner because the Christkind comes on the 24th and that's the way things are done here.

There is no traditional German Christmas dinner, and I can't think of making one up which would fit the qualifiers of cheese free, red meat free, and yummy. The traditional British Christmas dinner would fit the above qualifiers.

Turkeys, even if small, take 2 days to defrost. If very small, 24 hours may just about do the job.

We visited friends today, all day, two days before Christmas Eve. Tomorrow is Sunday and shops are closed on Sundays in Germany. The first shopping opportunity will be 8-11 hours before dinner is to be served.

Cartside is panicking and browsing the internet for inspiration and recipes. Maybe I should start a campaign for Sunday shopping in Germany. Maybe I should cook lots of Gluehwein and hope we all get drunk before anyone notices the lack of Christmas dinner. I can't possibly try goose drumsticks again, I'm sure my family would rather starve.

Help!