It can be interesting to occasional analyse traffic to one's own blog and there may be a surprise in store. Today, after noticing that traffic had increased threefold, I investigated and didn't only find out I was quoted on another, obviously more influential blog, but also found out shocking changes to the training of doctors on the NHS. But there are experts on this, and I am not, so suffice a link and a strong recommendation to find out about the issues raised in these blogs. It was an eye opener to me, I didn't have the foggiest.

It did prompt me to expand on my thoughts triggered by my first visit to the hospital after changing from community care to consultant care. The change of care is my first concern, followed by some thoughts on different attitudes to induction of labour for "overdue" moms-to-be.

My confusion and insecurity on the day was largely due to being confronted with new people at a very vulnerable point in time. Pregnancy has put me on a rollercoaster of emotions, partly due to hormones, partly because of the simple fact that it changes your life. Hormones make the pregnant mind more emotional, and I'm prone, and not alone in this, to sudden outbursts of tears, to sympathy and compassion for others which I never experienced as strongly before. I consider it a good thing, not a bad one. However, it makes you more vulnerable anyway, which is further strengthened by entering a crucial stage of pregnancy, where important decisions need to be taken. It isn't a good time to change the main caregiver. I took time to trust the two GPs and one midwife who cared for me in the local health centre, and there is no time now. The fact that the consultant is young and male doesn't help, but is not in itself a problem. While my GP, knowing my medical history, was extremely cautious of any sign pointing towards pre-eclamsia, a blood pressure that made her refer me to the hospital for monitoring was brushed off as perfect by this new consultant. Literally, a new file was opened and all my medical history seemed to have been lost, why else would he ask me if I had ever been pregant before, had a miscarriage or termination?

There were more issues why my trust wasn't allowed to grow and I wasn't made to understand why medical intervention was suggested at all. My next appointment is with yet another care giver, this time the midwife based at the hospital, so potentially yet another person to poke in my private parts and disturb my baby.

Now interested in induction, the reasons for it, advantages and disadvantages, as well as success rates, I did a bit of research. As I did with each part of my pregnancy, to make informed decisions. This was all very useful and I'm now a bit more confident about my thoughts on all forms of speeding things along. Interesting though were attitudes of other pregnant women on the same topic, which didn't seem to match my concerns at all and made me wonder if I'm on a different planet.

First of all, there's an overdue club on a pregnancy forum which I frequent for the sake of passing time waiting for labour to kick in. Every single person on this forum moans about being overdue, and every single person is hoping for induction appointments rather sooner than later. Apparently, some hospitals aren't as quick with speeding things up as mine is, and most overdue women seem to be very keen indeed to get similar offers that I refused so readily. Unlike the women on this forum, I'm not particularly impatient or frustrated, though keen to meet my baby. I can't understand the desperation of wanting to end pregnancy, or the obsession with seeing themselves as overdue, when the normal gestation period is anywhere between 37 and 42 weeks, and overdue should really only refer to being 42 weeks plus. I always expected to go beyond 40 weeks, because almost everyone I know did. It's perfectly normal, but this does not seem to be something many women know or want to know.

Similarly, at an aquanatal class, fellow splashers weren't just amazed I was there at my advanced week count, but they were also sure not to see me the following week. "They won't let you go beyond 10 days over" was their conviction. I responded that they might have to let me go 10 days over because I would not agree to induction before 42 weeks. Ignore that they obviously didn't understand my point of view (why would you choose to wait if you can get induced?), they also thought that it was the hospital's/consultant's decision. While I obviously respect and consider medical opinion, the decision for any medical intervention is that of the patient, and I was shocked that educated, mature women did not consider this to be the case.

So why am I so reluctant? Well, to start with, I don't think intervention without medical need is ever a good thing. Bodies are amazing things and usually do a lot of good stuff themselves. Not always, though, and that's where medicine comes in. But to induce for the sake of it, I don't get. A labour after being induced is more painful, and has a higher likelihood of leading to other forms of intervention, particularly assisted delivery. While I'm positive about labour and looking forward to experiencing it, the thought of cesarian section, ventouse, forceps and needles in my spine make me go weak on my knees. Truly. I do actually faint if I think of it too much. It scares me senseless. I also don't want someone to stick a hook inside my private parts. I'll accept the sweep though for the moment, I'm not trying to be difficult, honestly.

So maybe I was the victim of assumptions. Maybe the consultants thought I was like those women screaming for an end to big bump who would do anything to get induced on their due date or even earlier to get it over with. Maybe they were simply trying to be kind and not stand in the way of my choice of birth experience. So I won't be to harsh on them should I meet them again, but patiently explain that I may be a bit different.