Cubling is getting really good at the old housework. While I was cooking my first ever Risotto, she loaded the washing machine:

I've been using cloth nappies for well over a year now and thought it might be useful for those considering using them to share my experience.

Initially, I was sceptical because friends who've had babies argued that the energy that goes into them (washing, drying, production) is equal to using disposable that are biodegradable. However, my sister in law started using prefolds with a nappy laundering service and I had a look at them and got interested in that idea - mainly because of the convenience factor of having them washed for you.
I soon dismissed the laundry service idea due to costs (after all, by using cloth nappies I also wanted to have a financial gain). But having seen prefolds, and tempted by the cheap initial layout, I got a small set of newborn Cotton Bottoms and a full set of small Cotton Bottoms prefolds.

I never used the newborn ones, because Cubling was 15 days late and not small, and for the first six weeks, after a difficult enough birth and with a colicky and refusing to sleep baby, plus initial problems with breast feeding, I had other things on my mind. After 6 weeks though I started to use the prefolds, Cubling at that point really needed the second size. I found prefolds fine to use, they leaked with her massive bowel movements but those were rare (I have a record breaking baby who once went 12 days without! Did I promise pre-birth never to talk about the contents of nappies???) so really it was quite manageable. I didn't use them at night because they didn't last the 12 hours (Cubling initially slept well at night and I didn't want to interrupt her sleep for a nappy change and later when she didn't sleep well at night I didn't want to make it worse with a nappy change) so I always used disposable for the night shift. Cotton Bottoms prefolds dry reasonably quickly even in wet Scottish climate. The only issue I had was with slight leaks through the edge of the wrap which got increasingly worse the longer I used them.

When buying the next size up, medium, I started to realise that prefolds were only initially cheap. Basically, you need lots of different sizes of nappies and wraps so that in the end they are actually not quite so cheap. It's tempting to spend £2 rather than £9 on a nappy if you need 16 to keep you going, but with prefolds you need at least 4 sizes and sets, with shaped nappies 2 will do (there are also one size ones). Nevermind the hassle of having to get regular sets to fit the growing baby, the main issue I have is cupboard space. I tried to sell the smaller size on, and they sure won't. With shaped nappies, you can usually sell on for at leat 50% of the purchase price, with prefolds, you're lucky if you get 25%. Which isn't worth the effort really.

I'd always been interested in trying out Tot Bots nappies because they're made in Glasgow. At the point of having bought the third size of Cotton Bottoms prefolds (medium), I contacted the nappy lady, got some advice on which nappies are best for my circumstances. It's a great service, with a personal advisor who gets a commission if you order with them, which is fine because they do put in a lot of time. I tried some of the suggestions but tot bots were absent, and I did want to give them a try too, so got a pack with Bumbles, Motherease one size and Motherease wraps.

My verdict: I adore Tot Bots fluffles because there's nothing cuter on a baby bum, they are super soft and dry overnight. They rule. For wraps, Motherease got rid of any previous leaks, however, as they get tighter, they cause Cubling a sore rash. After using Cotton Bottoms wraps size medium for months, they now don't just leak at the edges but also through the main part, so aren't really serving their purpose anymore. Bumbles are fine for absorbency but a tad small and on the rough side, and don't dry so quickly. Having used shaped nappies, I wouldn't go back to prefolds. As for fastenings, I prefer velcro, poppers are fine too, but whoever labelled nappy nippers "ingenious" surely never used them, especially not on a wriggly baby. They are a pain and really not my cup of tea.

As to the issue of how green cloth nappies are - I wash a load of nappies every four days which is every third load of washing. It's sufficient to wash them at 60 degrees, and I dry them on the line, so I really don't see how the environmental impact can be equal to using disposables, even degradable ones. I still use disposables at night time (but may change soon should I get my next size up of motherease wraps) and find that even the amount of nappy waste caused by this is shocking. Above all, I don't find the extra wash every 4 days a chore and there's no soaking required. The only issue about using cloth nappies is that many childminders and nurseries won't accept them, just as they won't accept food cooked by parent. Fortunately, Cubling's childminder is cool with both, but for all those who don't. there still needs to be an effort made to redress the balance of health and safety regulations and environmental protection.

As to nappy rash and the like, I find that it gets worse in disposables. Cons: bigger bums which with chubby babies can make it hard getting them into trousers. Leaky wraps (I still use those leaky Cotton Bottoms ones) do make for a slightly smelly baby. However the shaped nappies hold the smell in so well that sometimes I don't notice the need for a change. When travelling, cloth nappies are too bulky and don't agree with tight Ryanair weight allowances.

15 months after switching to cloth nappies, it's the most natural thing to do. The fact that you can get excited about a particular type of cloth nappies just demonstrates that it's not just about being eco friendly. I see them as a luxury.

Just a quicky for my own records. For 4 nights in a row, Cubling slept from 8pm until at least 5am, twice until 6pm. That's more often than the total in the previous 16 months. So I'm a mummy who's had a good amount of sleep at last. It was also useful as I've managed to get a very sore shoulder and wouldn't have been able to lift her (or get out of my bed to get her out of her bed...). Before that, she did wake once a night, but was easily settled with a quick cuddle. So getting rid of night feeds seems to have done the job. I still stand in disbelief when she wakes at 5 or 6am because I'm so not used to this.

On the language front, she now says "teeth", "water" and "sus" which I guess mean juice. She also say ta when given something (she can't have that from us, thumbs up for the childminder in giving her manners), mimi for "milk", "tata" for jacket (that used to be for bye bye) and baba for bye bye and she uses dues for lots of items she knows. And she calls the moon "nana" for banana. Well, she's got a point there. The other day she said frog, but it was a one off. She also uses more signs now, like spider, duck, and various others. She also now sings ee ii ee ii oo of old macdonald.
On the bilingual front, she clearly speaks much more English than German, but understands both languages equally and also connects the German terms with the English ones she knows. So if I ask her if she want "Wasser" she'll nod and say "water".

She still has a temper and no patience to speak of, so outbursts are frequent and long, often without any apparent reason. But she can also have such fund and is now happy to read a book and join in with activities. Where she usually causes havoc.

I once was an advocate for free university education. Took part in demonstrations when student fees loomed and all that. Why? Because I was at uni, and it suited me. And I thought great education is the be all and end all for everyone.

Well, I'm able to learn and fortunately university hasn't messed me up fully. The problem with higher education is that it benefits few, is expensive and doesn't do much to tackle the real problems society faces. What are those? Disadvantage, inequality, violent crime, substance abuse, poverty. Unhappy people to put it simply.

The thing is, there may be a magic formula tackle all of these problems. It goes under the name of early years, that is the time from conception to 5. Why?

 

The key to breaking the cycle of violence and antisocial behaviour as well as poverty and inequality lies in the first years of a child's life, even the very first years. Violence develops by a combination of an external trigger and personal propensity to violence, the latter develops primarily from wrong treatment before age 3. Wrong treatment means neglect, abuse, or severe discipline combined with a primary carer who doesn't listen to the child. The ability to empathise prevents violent crime, but empathy can only develop when the primary carer attaches and attunes to the infant. I.e.: we need good parents/carers. 

 

The UK severely underperforms in ensuring child well-being in a European comparison. There is a clear link between child well-being and availability of affordable childcare and a more flexible approach to maternity/paternity leave for new parents. Give at least a year of maternity/paternity leave and subsidise good child care for children from one to school age. So invest in early years and you have happy children. Have happy children and you get economically productive and socially responsible citizens.

 

Early years work is crucial in tackling poverty. Research has shown that for every pound spend in early years, the return for the individual and society is £17 (made up of crime reduction, improved health, improved economic activity and earnings).

 

The gap in attainment between children from different backgrounds widens with formal education during the school years. Education, free schooling, thus fail to bridge the gap. However intervention in the form of support for parents and enriching child-care provision which reaches children before they start school does bridge the gap of attainment between rich and poor, disadvantaged and advantaged. If society focuses on free education only, this inadvertently contributes to increasing social inequalities.

 

“Disadvantaged children particularly benefit from pre-school provision.” “For provision for over threes, the evidence is consistent that pre-school provision for this age range is beneficial to educational and social development of the whole population.” Quality provision increases this benefit for children. So investing in the early years benefits all of us.

 

The problem is that in spite the recognition of the importance of early years work, it is undervalued, underpaid and severely underfunded. If we are serious about wanting to tackle poverty, crime, health, substance abuse, inequalities and worklessness, we need to redress this imbalance.

 

What we need is this:

• nurturing and stimulating home environments available to every child
• development of parental capacity pre and post birth
  
• availability of affordable high quality child care for all children and
• communities which provide a supportive environment for children and families.

Oh bliss. For the second time running, while in my sleepy hometown of Dormagen, there was a fleemarket. I just love rummaging through bizarre collections and buy useless stuff for close to nothing. My strange collection of prey was:
three knitting needles, three soft toys, one handknitted jumper for Cubling, a mouse sweater (for Cubling), two books (guess for whom). Granddad almost fainted, while I thought I'd been comparably good. The problem is of course, as usual, flipping Ryanair who only allow 15kg worth of check in luggage, no infant allowance thrown into the bundle. It's hard on the way out, harder on the way back because I do want to bring little pressies for family and colleagues. And of course with child, you get given stuff. Which is really lovely, if it weren't for the Ryanair induced weight allowance problem.

Apparently, fleemarkets will be a monthly occurence here. That's one good thing, even better that they take place in the centre of town, on the pedestrian area, and start at a decent time (11a.m.). Compare that to Glasgow markets - Sunday out near the city dump with a starting time of 8a.m.

Cubling loved it all, she has eyes that won't miss a snake, a banana, a cat or a dog. Rather funny because mummy spends half the time trying to find the snake/banana/cat/dog Cubling has spotted. I spy with my little eyes... She's winning at the moment. We also had great fund playing the "nein" game: taking out a book from granddad's bookcase gets her a "nein" from mummy, so let's play at taking out a book from granddad's bookcase, waiting for mummy's "nein", then repeating it in the same tone of voice, big grin, and putting book back. Repeat. Until mummy bursts out laughing. She usually does, can't help herself.
I hope she doesn't think books on granddad's bookcase are called "nein".
Somehow just somehow the purpose of stopping her from taking out books is ever so slightly defeated (scratches her head).

Well, at the airport, I was convinced that my backpack was considerably heavier than Cubling, and thus danger of a hefty charge loomed. However, it seems that I'm so used by now to carrying a toddler on my hip and so not used anymore to carrying a backpack that my fear was actually unfounded. And it didn't even burst. Phew.

is waking up to Cubling lying next to me wriggling along to Huey Lewis' "I'm so happy to be stuck with you" playing on the radio.

And yes, I am happy to be stuck with you too.

A few days after Cubling turned 16 months, I've been seen with my nose in books on toddler development. I just love to read what to expect at this stage, and to see what Cubling can or can't do at the moment. Honestly, not to brag about her or worry, just because it's exciting. I'm not joking, I really find it exciting.

She has obsessions with a few things and will spot them even far away and out of known contexts. It's quite awe inspiring how well she can spot these things. They are:

Fish. It started in the Aquarium, and it's been a constant since. She doesn't say fish, just opens/closes her mouth like a fish and is a great fish spotter. Even the abstract birds in her cot mobile are fish to her. She can also tell fish at the supermarket and knows she likes to eat fish - if I tell her the food in front of her is fish, she does the fish mouthing, and then opens her mouth very wide, leaning forward.

Keys. It's one of her first bilingual words, that says it all, not an easy one to pick in German at that! Sissel it is in her pronunciation in German, seys in English. A clear case of overgeneralisation, she also calls bolts a key, any other metal item on doors, the key whole, the metal bit on the parasol pole etc. She spots incredible numbers of keys and locks, and you suddenly realise how obsessed we have become about locking us in. She will throw a tantrum if you try to take a key off her, so better not give it to her in the first place. She'll also throw one if she sees a key and doesn't get it, so better not have it in sight. She also knows daddy has a key in his pocket. You can't win, she knows where the keys are...

Babies. Is she trying to tell me something? Hm. Anyway, she'll spot a baby before my poor eyesight catches up, and proudly announces "baby". I could claim she can say it in both languages as well, just that it is actually the same word in German. She'll walk over to babies in buggies and prams and try to stroke and kiss them. Ahhh.

Dogs - well that's been a long standing obsession. Bracken, our neighbour's dog, is her favourite and I don't blame her. A cute and friendly Scottie dog, perfect height for stroking for Cubling, and an audible bark which generally interferes with dinner time.

Shoes. They mean going out and she just can't wait to get out. She even sometimes brings me my shoes to make me hurry up...

She's an expert in nodding yes and no now, and only rarely confuses them. It makes communication so much easier, especially because she doesn't just try to contradict but actually nods "yes" if I guessed her wish right. She can say "nein" and "no" beautifully and seems to differentiate as to who she is talking to. I get the "nein", other people get the "no". Other new words are buggy (bubby), birdie, and eeyai - the latter strangely means cat. Don't ask. Better than her first attempt which sounded like the German for shit. She uses signs more frequently now to show where she wants to go, to ask for the hat, to identify some animals (duck, crocodile, elephant and I count fish in here too), and can do "woof woof" as well as "wau wau", both of these now replace her "doo" which I thought meant "dog" but now seems to refer to things she knows well but doesn't quite know how to say (flower, guinea pigs ...). "Dous" remains the word for "shoes". Her "hiya" was replaced by "hallo" after our holiday in Germany, and today she added "hi" to it. tata is in the process of becoming "byebye" (pronounced baba) and she continues to say all done (aaldaa) and "nana" or banana. For a few days now she refers to granny as "nanny". How many words does that make? I don't know, not sure which of these are considered to be real words. She still says "ssss" for "heiss" and "snake", and imitates other animal noises (refusing to do sheep and pig).

She's getting good at spotting things in books, and is developing real favourite books - where's that monkey and water baby are the current top ones. She loooves monkeys, elephants and snakes, and is not unimpressed by her former favourite, the zebra. Where's that monkey has all her favourite animals, including even fish.

On Monday, she kicked a ball for the first time and almost managed to walk up low steps by herself. Oh, did I say she loves balls and grabs any ball she sees. In the swing park, she now climbs up the stairs to the shoot, and slides down on her own. At the same time she gets bored very quickly with any item, be it the swing, books, toys, rocking horse or any other item. She'll go onto one thing and want off only a few seconds later, and this seems short even for a toddler. And she runs off.

The one thing she doesn't do well yet, particularly in relation to her age, is scribble and draw. She will make some marks on paper, but nothing sustained. Again, her attention span seems the problem. However, there is improvement: Reading books is getting a bit better if she's not tired and hyper, and so does taking building blocks/clothes pegs out of containers and back. And gardening. The new lightweight buggy is a winner too, she likes it so much more than the expensive Quinny. It'll be a sore back for me then.

She looks like a real girl now, full of character and personality. She's heavy at 12.5 kg (that's after not eating 3 weeks in the past 6 due to illness), but doesn't look too chubby, not sure about her height only that her clothes are getting tight, especially as we're still using cloth nappies. Her favourite food is fish, pasta/bread, porridge chicken, yoghurt and ice cream. I need to mix vegetables into her food because when allowed to pick pieces from our plates, she'll eat meat/fish first, followed by the starchy stuff, followed by nought, and the desert (yoghurt). It's not that she doesn't like veg, but if given the choice... She still refuses to eat cheese and fruit pieces.

Finally she delights in being chased, exploring mouths, putting my necklace into my mouth, splashing with water, watching bugs and bigger animals. She doesn't like indoor soft play areas, being strapped in a high chair, horses and walking while I'm holding her hand.

Seems my ideas are all en vogue. Children in Scotland have issued a press release calling for the Scottish Government to include a nurture through nature agenda in the Early Years Framework. In fact, the conference that Children in Scotland ran and which I couldn't attend due to work commitments to me had looked pretty lacking in the early years area of promoting outside education. The press release clearly redresses the balance.

Along the same lines, an anti-bullying network conference looked at the implication of an over protective stance on bullying and our society's aversion to accept any form of risk. While we all want to protect our children, they argue that we are trying to ignore that life is a fatal disease ending in death, and in an attempt to cheat death and injury, we emprison our children in environments which are neither contributing to a healthy development nor a happy childhood.

Tim Gill, author of “No Fear – growing up in a risk-averse society” put it into a nice and short check:
When you were young where did you most like to play?
Was it outdoors?
Was it out of adult supervision?
Form me the answers are yes. That's because I'm over 25. Nowadays the answers is a definite no and that's where the problem lies.
In an attempt to keep children safe, we deny them the important opportunity to play outdoors and without adult supervision. So it's time to maybe reconsider if we do have the right balance.

The answer seems to be that we need safe opportunities for outdoor and unsupervised play, which forest kindergardens, among other things, can offer.

This is a boring sleep no sleep post - don't feel bad for skipping it.

We have a new night time routine.
It's always good to start with the positive, so for three nights running, there have been no feeds between midnight and five a.m., and one night even none between 9.20 p.m. and 7 a.m. (I still do the midnight feed if she wakes when I go to bed in the hope that this will send her off to dreamland until the morning).

The eight o'clock wee willy winky bedtime is out of the the windae though. Our typical night looks like this: 8 p.m. bedtime, followed by 15 minutely cries that necessitate saving Cubling from entanglement in the travel cot or bumping head or other body parts on the wall next to it. She moves a lot you see, and the travel cot is minute compared to her bed at home. It also creeks which keeps me awake when she moves. Usually, at around this time (9.30pm) she's down for good. And I'm ready for bedybyes too, having run after her all day in the hot summer sun, just that it's too sad really. So I plough on, writing job applications rather than reading and knitting.

Last night, Cubling woke at 1 a.m. Determined not to feed her, I took her into my bed to get her back to sleep. It worked well, I hardly remember what happened, just that now and again I woke to find her moving away from me and kicking her feet into my body, which kind of indicates that her head was moving towards the other side of the bed. I tried to put my arm around her to protect her from the drop but she pushed it away. Eventually I turned and embraced sleep instead.

At 5 a.m. I was awoken by a big crashlike sound.
Cubling had fallen out of bed. Oh my. She cried. I cried. We huddled and cuddled. My heart thumped, I looked for broken bones, blood and bruises (there were none). She looked for sleep which had been rudely interrupted and promptly fell asleep on my arm. Amazed but still shaken, and very ruefully, I put her back in the travel cot. As usual, the best method for wakening her. She watched me but didn't cry, tried really hard to get herself back to sleep, in any possible position. It was hilarious - she tried so many sleeping positions, stood up, kneeled, sat, lay on her back, front, left, right. She couldn't get herself to sleep. 45 minutes later I took mercy and decided this feed would be a morning one and anyway she deserved it for falling out of bed like that. She fed beautifully and her face was full of blissful sleep.
I placed her back in the travel cot.
She slept until 9 a.m. For once I got up a full hour before her.

So, I can see the end of night feeds, but I'm still in very strong doubt about the end of night wakings. And with night feeds, at least those were generally short and sweet and kept her in her bed. Still, it's worth a shot.

We were getting ready for the big trip to the zoo when mummy checked up on some building work on trams and undergrounds to avoid unnecessary delays when in the city of Cologne. An eye fixed for a couple of second on the screen was a enough to cause another unnecessary delay in the form of Cubling breaking the drawer next to the computer.

Well we made the zoo eventually, or rather the aquarium due to the heavy rain. Cubling was enthralled. Fish everywhere. Mouth opening and closing, for an hour and a half without break. Running from one fish tank to another showing us all the fishes in the world. Tiny and huge, colourful and dull, stripey and dotted, flat and round, spikey and smooth. I don't think I've ever seen her so excited and happy. Maybe she was a fish in her previous life. She then complied to conk out for a decent length of time, allowing mummy and former hall of residence mate to have a decent chat and lunch. That's the way.

The monkey house was quite a success as well, we even managed not to get peed upon. The zebras, giraffes and bears found Cubling's approval too.

Oh, and she's definitely found the "no" headshake. Sometimes I think she's trying to say both yes and no at the same time. That's funny particularly if it causes loss of balance.

There are more building works going on. The local swing park has disappeared. Instead there's a massive hole. I believe it's an archaeological site. Why oh why is my home town built on a Roman fort? And why does it take them over 2000 years to dig it up? You'd think they'd be done with it by now.